What If It’s Not About Your Body?
The stories we’re taught about body image play a powerful role in how we see ourselves…
But what if your body isn’t actually the problem?
What if the way you see yourself has more to do with the stories you were taught than the body you’re in?
What if the distress, fear, shame, fixation isn’t about your body, but about the meaning you learned to attach to it?
Because bodies are neutral. But the meaning we attach to them is not.
For so many people, body image pain doesn’t come from the body itself. It comes from the beliefs, fears, and rules that have been layered on top of it, often without our consent, and often without us even realizing it.
We Don’t Just See Our Bodies, We Interpret Them
Most people aren’t reacting to their body. They’re reacting to what they believe their body means.
We’re not looking in the mirror and seeing a shape. We’re seeing a story:
“If I gain weight, I’ll be unlovable.”
“If I’m not thin, I’m not worthy.”
“If my body changes, I lose control.”
“If I’m not small, I’m not safe.”
That’s your nervous system trying to protect you in a world that taught you your body determines your value.
Your Body Became a Symbol
For many people, the body stops being just a body. It becomes a symbol for:
safety
control
worth
belonging
desirability
success
being “enough”
So when the body changes, it doesn’t just feel physical. It feels existential. It can feel like losing protection. Like losing identity. Like losing control. And of course that feels terrifying.
We Also Have to Name the Culture We’re In
We do not develop body image in a vacuum. We live in a culture that constantly equates:
thinness with discipline
thinness with beauty
thinness with success
thinness with control
thinness with worth
We don’t choose these messages. We absorb them. So it makes sense that your nervous system learned: ”smaller = safer.” When a culture rewards thinness and punishes weight gain, your fear of weight gain is not irrational, it’s learned.
So What If Your Fear Isn’t About Your Body… But About What You’re Afraid Will Happen If It Changes?
This is where the work gets honest. Ask yourself:
What do I believe weight gain says about me?
What am I afraid it will cost me?
Who do I think I’ll become if my body changes?
What do I think I’ll lose?
Because often the fear is not just as simple as : “I don’t like my body.” It’s: “I’m afraid of what it means.”
For example, you may be…
Afraid of being rejected.
Afraid of being invisible.
Afraid of being judged.
Afraid of being out of control.
Afraid of being unsafe.
That’s not a problem with your body.
That’s survival.
This Is Why Body Image Work Is Not About Loving Your Body
Healing is not about forcing yourself to love how you look. It’s about untangling fears and narratives you have created.
separating worth from weight
unlearning survival stories
challenging cultural lies
building safety outside of appearance
and developing a relationship with yourself that isn’t conditional
Because your body is’t the problem. You fear what you were taught it represents. And that can be unlearned.